This is pretty funny. I don't think that's their real mom, though.
Wednesday, November 5, 2008
Sunday, November 2, 2008
You're not the Boss of Me
Most of my friends happen to be homeschooling parents. Sometimes, however, I have to converse with adults outside the homeschooling world. These conversations are what have helped convince me that secular homeschooling, particularly, is a revolutionary act.
Here are some examples:
One or more of my children has participated in the local Little League for about 6 seasons. As a conversation starter, most parents ask which school my kids attend. We all know what my answer is.
Well, one time, one of the moms involved in this dialogue with me said,”You know, I believe the schools have become a sterile environment since all religion has been removed from them.”
All sorts of thoughts were whirling around my head at that moment. I kept telling myself to be quiet and to just nod and smile. But then I said it. “You know, there is that nice section in the Constitution about the separation of church and state.”
The other mom nodded and smiled. And never said another word to me the whole season.
I would have just passed off this mom’s distaste for me as a basic distaste for snarky remarks if this next conversation hadn’t occurred with another mom during the first game of the season. We had the initial part of the discussion wherein I state that my child doesn’t attend school and then she says something like, “Oh, I could never do that,” and then I assure her that she certainly could. Same old, same old. But then she asks me what church I attend. I tell her that I am basically a non-believer and haven’t gone to church since I left home at 17. She raises her eyebrows and then excuses herself from continuing the discourse -- forever.
When I thought back over the 12 years I’ve been homeschooling, I realized that these discussions are only two examples of the dozens of the same sort I’ve had in that time.
I started wondering at the revulsion that seems to come not so much from the fact that we homeschool, but more from the fact that we don’t homeschool for religious reasons.
Then it hit me.
These people are upset with me because nobody is the boss of me.
As I’ve described before, I believe that mass schooling has become a replacement for religion. Parents buy into the structure and rules and live their lives accordingly. I had a parent describe an outside school reading program to me – a certain number of books required at certain graded levels, comprehension tests that need to be passed with 80% of the questions correct or the book doesn’t count, all administered by the parent – and when I acted horrified at these onerous rules, she looked shocked and told me how great the program was. So when I say that my kids don’t go to school, many parents are offended that I am, in essence, rejecting the organizing principle of their lives
But then, they think, it will all be o.k., if my religion tells me what to do. When they find out it doesn’t, it blows their minds.
I’m speaking, of course, in broad generalizations. There are a lot of people who don’t have a problem with secular homeschooling. But the incidents I’ve described happen more often than not.
Secular homeschoolers pick their level of structure, from using a boxed curriculum all the way to no curriculum. But we pick these levels of structure based on our needs and those of our children, not based on societal norms or religious expectations. For my family, at least, I’m hoping that my kids’ background in homeschooling will help them, eventually, feel confident in their ability to control their own education.
I guess that’s really what makes it a true revolution, right? We’re producing a future generation of people who can think for themselves.
Imagine.
Here are some examples:
One or more of my children has participated in the local Little League for about 6 seasons. As a conversation starter, most parents ask which school my kids attend. We all know what my answer is.
Well, one time, one of the moms involved in this dialogue with me said,”You know, I believe the schools have become a sterile environment since all religion has been removed from them.”
All sorts of thoughts were whirling around my head at that moment. I kept telling myself to be quiet and to just nod and smile. But then I said it. “You know, there is that nice section in the Constitution about the separation of church and state.”
The other mom nodded and smiled. And never said another word to me the whole season.
I would have just passed off this mom’s distaste for me as a basic distaste for snarky remarks if this next conversation hadn’t occurred with another mom during the first game of the season. We had the initial part of the discussion wherein I state that my child doesn’t attend school and then she says something like, “Oh, I could never do that,” and then I assure her that she certainly could. Same old, same old. But then she asks me what church I attend. I tell her that I am basically a non-believer and haven’t gone to church since I left home at 17. She raises her eyebrows and then excuses herself from continuing the discourse -- forever.
When I thought back over the 12 years I’ve been homeschooling, I realized that these discussions are only two examples of the dozens of the same sort I’ve had in that time.
I started wondering at the revulsion that seems to come not so much from the fact that we homeschool, but more from the fact that we don’t homeschool for religious reasons.
Then it hit me.
These people are upset with me because nobody is the boss of me.
As I’ve described before, I believe that mass schooling has become a replacement for religion. Parents buy into the structure and rules and live their lives accordingly. I had a parent describe an outside school reading program to me – a certain number of books required at certain graded levels, comprehension tests that need to be passed with 80% of the questions correct or the book doesn’t count, all administered by the parent – and when I acted horrified at these onerous rules, she looked shocked and told me how great the program was. So when I say that my kids don’t go to school, many parents are offended that I am, in essence, rejecting the organizing principle of their lives
But then, they think, it will all be o.k., if my religion tells me what to do. When they find out it doesn’t, it blows their minds.
I’m speaking, of course, in broad generalizations. There are a lot of people who don’t have a problem with secular homeschooling. But the incidents I’ve described happen more often than not.
Secular homeschoolers pick their level of structure, from using a boxed curriculum all the way to no curriculum. But we pick these levels of structure based on our needs and those of our children, not based on societal norms or religious expectations. For my family, at least, I’m hoping that my kids’ background in homeschooling will help them, eventually, feel confident in their ability to control their own education.
I guess that’s really what makes it a true revolution, right? We’re producing a future generation of people who can think for themselves.
Imagine.
Saturday, November 1, 2008
In Which I Flip-flop
So, based on conversations I've had with other homeschooling parents and the thoughtful comments on this blog, I've decided to go back to saying "secular" homeschooling rather than "inclusive" homeschooling when discussing someone's motivation for homeschooling. So, to make it clearer, for purposes of The Revolution begins at Home (this blog):
The word "secular" will be used when the primary motivation for homeschooling is something other than religion.
The word "religious" or the term"religiously motivated" will be used when the primary motivation for homeschooling is religion.
That is all.
The word "secular" will be used when the primary motivation for homeschooling is something other than religion.
The word "religious" or the term"religiously motivated" will be used when the primary motivation for homeschooling is religion.
That is all.
Friday, October 31, 2008
Frugal Friday
Today's tip is from LBS, my friend in Houston. She suggests looking at curricula online to get ideas for the kids' reading in various subjects. For instance, I've been looking at the book lists on the History Odyssey site to help me figure out what Iulius and Lucretius might be able to read for history at their specific levels. Then I can get the books at the library.
I've also started to look at the graded book lists at local charter schools to get level-appropriate ideas. I've found that homeschooled kids tend to read a whole lot more than schooled kids, so we need all the suggestions we can find!
I've also started to look at the graded book lists at local charter schools to get level-appropriate ideas. I've found that homeschooled kids tend to read a whole lot more than schooled kids, so we need all the suggestions we can find!
Wednesday, October 29, 2008
Video Wednesday
I really liked posting the video last week. There are a ton of funny homeschooling videos on youtube, so I thought I would share another with you. I do realize that the song is a Christian rock song and that there are things that don't apply to many of us, but, as I always say, inclusive (secular?) homeschoolers and religiously motivated homeschoolers are more alike than different!
Sunday, October 26, 2008
A change and some definitions
After some consideration, discussions, and a lot of resistance, I have changed a part of the title of this blog.
I really like using the word "secular" when talking about non-religiously motivated homeschooling. "Secular" basically just means "of or relating to the worldly or temporal" (Websters Unabridged Dictionary). When talking about our homeschooling support group, I like to use "secular" simply to distinguish our group from the religiously based groups. Many members of our support group are deeply religious, but choose to homeschool for reasons other than their spiritual beliefs and choose to belong to a non-religious group.
When I first set up our website, one of my friends told me that I should use the word "inclusive" instead of secular because I would be alienating the families who are religious but don't want to base their homeschooling on a religious structure. I pretty much poo-pooed her concerns (sorry AG). Then, in a discussion with another friend on Friday, she mentioned that a lot of people won't even consider joining a "secular" homeschooling group because they interpret that word to mean "anti-religious." As much as I despise etymological relativism, I'm now bending to popular will.
I am going to try my best, from now on, to use the term "inclusive homeschooling" instead of "secular homeschooling."
This now leaves me in a conundrum, however -- what term do I use instead of the terms "Christian" or "religious" when denoting homeschoolers other than inclusive ones? Although I believe that inclusive homeschoolers and religiously motivated homeschoolers have more commonalities than differences, I do believe that there are a few fundamental, important differences (which is why I specifically denote that inclusive homeschooling is a revolutionary act). What would be a good short-hand term to use instead of "religiously motivated?" Or is that the best term available?
Discussion please.
I really like using the word "secular" when talking about non-religiously motivated homeschooling. "Secular" basically just means "of or relating to the worldly or temporal" (Websters Unabridged Dictionary). When talking about our homeschooling support group, I like to use "secular" simply to distinguish our group from the religiously based groups. Many members of our support group are deeply religious, but choose to homeschool for reasons other than their spiritual beliefs and choose to belong to a non-religious group.
When I first set up our website, one of my friends told me that I should use the word "inclusive" instead of secular because I would be alienating the families who are religious but don't want to base their homeschooling on a religious structure. I pretty much poo-pooed her concerns (sorry AG). Then, in a discussion with another friend on Friday, she mentioned that a lot of people won't even consider joining a "secular" homeschooling group because they interpret that word to mean "anti-religious." As much as I despise etymological relativism, I'm now bending to popular will.
I am going to try my best, from now on, to use the term "inclusive homeschooling" instead of "secular homeschooling."
This now leaves me in a conundrum, however -- what term do I use instead of the terms "Christian" or "religious" when denoting homeschoolers other than inclusive ones? Although I believe that inclusive homeschoolers and religiously motivated homeschoolers have more commonalities than differences, I do believe that there are a few fundamental, important differences (which is why I specifically denote that inclusive homeschooling is a revolutionary act). What would be a good short-hand term to use instead of "religiously motivated?" Or is that the best term available?
Discussion please.
Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Let's Get Started Again
The weather is finally getting cooler here in the Desert Southwest and our park days have started again. Although we've been going full force on our lessons since August, I haven't had the gumption to start up this blog again. It's not that I don't have ideas -- I have a million of them. I think it's just that I don't know where to begin. I've decided, then, to start with another person's ideas. It's an obvious choice. Enjoy!
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