Too Cool for You

A few weeks ago, my husband showed me an article from the New York Times called “The Anti-Schoolers.” The article describes the decision a woman, Joanne Rendell, had made to not send her 5 year-old son, Benny, to kindergarten. Ms. Rendell, who is a novelist, had written a post for the website Babble, discussing her family’s choice to “unkindergarten.” In her post, she describes the ability they have to go out whenever they like (to bars, of all places) and to go to Europe on the cheap fares because they don’t have to work their schedule around a school schedule. She also describes a play date where all the kids get extremely muddy while playing and the parents discuss homeschooling while drinking beer. Ms. Rendell makes it clear that her choice to unkindergarten is their choice for now and she and her partner may decide to send Benny to school at a later date. Her post is beautifully written and brings out the absolute joy of having a 5 year-old child and being able to live life as you choose.

What struck me the most was not the New York Times article or Ms. Rendell’s blog. What struck me the most were the comments to her original post. Out of the 249 comments posted when I looked at the blog, 112 were negative, 112 were positive or somewhat positive (I took even one positive sentiment as a positive remark), 20 were commenters snipping at each other or saying nonsensical things, and I apparently overlooked 5 comments, which I’m not going to take the time to revisit.

The vitriol was palpable from the 112 negative comments. Some called for Child Protective Services to step in to take care of Benny. Most were absolutely astounded at the Ms. Rendell’s selfishness (“THE MOST SELFISH PARENTS I HAVE EVER COME ACROSS!”). Others, of course, mentioned that Benny will never be properly socialized (although one sympathetic commenter noted, “Benny is missing out on hours of standing in line, waiting, being told to put his head down because the kids are too noisy, being told to be quiet, and being forced to sit quietly in his seat.”). Quite a few talked about Benny needing to find out what it’s like to live in the REAL world (‘Not everyone in the world gets up around mid-day and spends their waking hours comfortably numb”). One comment talks about how the author is negligent because she’s not preparing Benny for “cutthroat global competition for increasingly rare jobs.” There is a long discussion of how people who homeschool and unschool must be rich because normal people have to send their kids to school so they can go to work (I wish this was true).

A couple negative comments struck me as strange because they were from self-proclaimed unschoolers saying that Ms. Rendell is not unschooling properly because she has never read a John Holt book. I’ve read John Holt books and I think, although I can’t absolutely know, that even John Holt would not say you need to read his books to successfully unschool. I would love to know what other unschoolers have to say about this seemingly dogmatic objection.

I think, though, that one positive commenter hit the nail on the head when he or she asked, “is the problem that her kid out-cooled your kids?” This question illustrates what I think is the basis for the commenters’ anger. Nobody is the boss of Joanne Rendell. She and Benny are rebels, not willing to let the schools tell them when they should go to bed and when they should play in the mud. For some reason, this lack of obedience to some higher power, whatever that power may be, makes many who do obey normal societal structures downright nasty.

Why would this be? Is it because they feel guilty because they didn’t question authority and think things through adequately before following the customary practice of enrolling their children in school? Are they jealous of the way those who unschool disregard the traditional wisdom of mass education? Do they wish that they had the guts to take their kids out of institutional education, but they’re too afraid to do it now? Are they just lazy and it’s just easier to criticize than to consider the implications of unschooling? Really, why would they care so much that they would spew this kind of malevolence at Ms. Rendell?

I wish I knew.