Group Hug

Every Tuesday, at 1:30 in the afternoon, you can find the kids and me at a park – like clockwork. The park location changes weekly, but the day and time does not. This is when we connect with the community that nourishes us, consoles us, supports us. It’s our homeschooling group park day.

I can’t say enough about how great Tuesdays are. The kids wake up and immediately cheer. Just a couple of hours of lessons and then we’re off. We see our buddies and play and argue and share snacks and talk. It’s as important for me as it is for the kids. We get to be surrounded by our friends and feel normal for a change. Nobody asks us about “socialization” or tries to surreptitiously quiz the kids to see if their education is adequate.

Sometimes, we stay at the park until dark. The kids will often split into groups based on age and gender, but every once in a while, the whole group of them – maybe 10 to 15 of them – will work together on a huge project. One time they built a gigantic civilization in the sand, complete with a river to assist with trade, nature preserves, and a religion (Church of the Flying Spaghetti Monster).

While all of these activities are going on, the grown-ups chat and complain and challenge and reassure each other, sometimes stopping to wipe away some tears or mediate a conflict. It’s a diverse group of parents. I would never have met many of them if we hadn’t come together with our mutual desire to educate our children ourselves. They are some of the best friends I have ever had.

Studies have shown the mental and physical health benefits of having a strong support system. I think it is imperative for homeschoolers -- who, as Charlotte so aptly stated in her essay, are often on the fringe of society – to have this kind of community. We all need to have people to commiserate with on a regular basis, people who understand the situation.

This group didn’t happen overnight. We’ve worked really hard over the last 5 or so years to get a good core group of families. Things have sometimes been a little rough when we didn’t all agree about the form or direction the group should take. We’ve made mistakes but we’ve always tried to rectify them quickly and, most importantly, together.

With the children growing older – we have several teenagers now – we’re looking to expand and change a bit to meet the needs of the kids. My family has started to attend another wonderful group’s park days, trying to make new friends at a time when friends are becoming so immensely important to my 12 year-old son. We’re hoping to get the teens and tweens from both groups together for some fun, age-appropriate activities. Making this transition to include what would usually be the “high school crowd” is going to be a challenge. But it is so worth the effort.